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I want to take a break from all the other posts with titles similar to this one.

They typically say something vague and fluffy like, “He hangs out with your mom,” or, “He likes the same things you do.”

They’re not wrong, necessarily, but they fail at the bigger picture.

Here are five signs that he’s the ONE–the one who goes deeper and grows with you.

1) He knows what he wants in life

Your man doesn’t have to have everything together, but if he knows what he wants and is taking actionable steps toward attaining it, that’s a sign that he knows himself well, and he has matured passed the stage of just going with the flow.

2) He listens to others’ advice, without necessarily following it

Some people just go with the flow (like in sign 1), while others listen to everything everyone else says. Signs 1 & 2 together show you that he’s gotten a taste for life, and makes his decisions based on a mixture of sound advice and experience.

3) You’re attracted to who he is

Is it his chiseled abs, brown hair, or cool accent? The newness or novelty of those things will fade (and so will his chiseled abs). When you fall in love with someone because of the person he is, you’re bound to find a more meaningful relationship and partnership.

Along the same lines, we’ve seen too many people change themselves to attract a certain person. The opposite of that, always being you, will help you attract the person who is attracted to you–the you that you’ll always be in the future.

4) You have disagreements regularly

Regular disagreements are a sign that you are two individuals, with two different upbringings and two different thought processes. You can always bet that two people coming together to solve a problem will be better than having morphed into one opinion, or worse: one partner always dominating the conversation.

Just keep it civil and respectful, because that’s a dangerous path.

5) You can talk about your vision, what you want, and how to work together

Look at signs 1 & 2 and judge yourself against them. Not just is he the one for you, but are you the one for him?

There are five stages of every healthy relationship, and talking about the future is stage four. Without getting overly negative, one problem we see is that, for one reason or another, people have a hard time setting out what they want in a relationship. They then just assume the other person knows and wants the same thing.

This fifth sign is as much about you as it is about him: you’ve set your ground rules or boundaries. You’ve been very clear about what you expect from a partner, and he’s been very clear about what he expects from you. You both discuss the future on a regular basis, and you act on it together.

Ground rules, expectations, and future plans all change, but you’re not afraid to discuss them every step of the way.

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