Finding the Right Man: A 3-Step Guide

There’s a routine question asked by single women getting to know each other for the first time: What’s your type? This wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t usually asking you to describe how your imaginary man looks. This question isn’t just bad. Asked over and over, it may even cause some damage.

Why?

Two reasons:

1) It puts the focus on the wrong thing: Him.

2) It detracts from the question she should be asking: What would finding the right man take?

You can probably find someone who’s your type at any dingy bar, but those relationships are cheap and don’t last long (sorry, it’s true). Here are 3 steps you need to take to find the right man: the one who’s going to stay with you for the rest of your life.

1) Finding the Right Man Takes Humility

Humility is the root of all growth. It’s the belief that you still have more to learn, and more to do; that every other person has something they can contribute to your life. It exhibits a lack of entitlement and allows your actions to speak for themselves. Humility extinguishes ignorance and garners grace.

It’s the most attractive attribute you could possibly embody, and the single key (if there was only one) to finding the right man, the one who doesn’t complete you, but rather, the one who encourages you to be the best person you could be.

2) Master Curiosity

Curiosity is the physical embodiment of humility. It’s the foundation upon which you build a life full of thrilling stories, beautiful memories, and fulfilling relationships. A master of curiosity always has an open mind and shows genuine interest in those around her.

Mastering curiosity, you’ll meet new people faster, you’ll seem more genuine to them, and they’ll naturally like you more. You’ll also be more open to new experiences and personal growth.

3) Find Yourself First

There’s a predisposition among people to think that a person who’s focused on herself is fundamentally selfish. That this person is either completely self-absorbed or just doesn’t care about those around her.

Total nonsense.

Focusing on you, and becoming the best you that you can be, allows you to give your best to the world, and yes, to give your best to the right man. When you give your best, you get the best in return.

Humans have this tendency to think that finding another person will help them be happier or live a fulfilled life. The problem is that if you’re not already living a fulfilled life, the kind of man you’ll attract will only amplify whatever attitude you’re giving off. If you’re depressed or are having confidence issues, the man you attract will inevitably bring you down further. Finding the right man means finding yourself first.