1) The Grass Is Greener On the Other Side
Trust me, it’s not. It just seems like that at low points. Relationships are not meant to be rosy all the time. But when yours is, you’ll be that much happier knowing that you’ve made it through a difficult patch. That doesn’t mean you should stay in an abusive or an unhealthy relationship. What it means is that you need to know your vision, and if you know that your partner is the person who fulfills that vision, that Instagram post, that couple that has their shit together, the magazine that made you doubt, is only showing the surface.
You can’t possibly know what’s going on behind closed doors, and it’s never as glamorous as it looks, because people only share the highlights.
You can’t even compare their highlights to your highlights, because everybody has a different path to take, a different role to play. Comparing any part of your relationship to any part of anyone else’s is going to give you a distorted view of yourself.
2) You Can Change Your Partner
You can’t, and you shouldn’t try. The only thing that will happen if you try to change your partner is you’ll make him or her resent you. It’s fine to encourage them to chase their own dreams, or the vision they see for themselves. But, you have no business trying to change those dreams or that vision, and you have no business trying to make them do things that they really don’t want to do, or to be a person they really don’t want to be. If they don’t fit your vision, maybe they’re not meant to be your partner.
Trying to change your partner into someone they’re not will only have negative consequences. On the other hand, (positively) encouraging them to be the best them they can be, can be positive for both of you.
3) Long Lasting Love Can Exist Without Trust
If you can’t trust your partner, you will always worry, you’ll always have concerns, and those will weigh on your shoulders like extra baggage that makes you miss your flight. But, if you’re able to trust your partner completely, you’ll be able to move forward faster, not just with your day, but with your life.
4) Happiness Comes From Finding Love
If you think your partner is going to make you happy, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Leading psychologists say that happiness doesn’t come from achieving your goals. It doesn’t come from money, or even love. Happiness comes from chasing what you want. People are hardwired for it. It’s in our biology. You can chase a vision with your partner, or you can do it by yourself, but either way, your partner is never responsible for your happiness. Only you can take that initiative and follow through.
5) Your Happiness and Love Aren’t Tied To Your Gratefulness
The first step toward happiness is realizing what you have, and understanding its value. We all have so much we could take for granted on a daily basis: my daughter’s smile, the fact that my wife even wants a loser like me, the smartphone I’m writing this article with..if I’m not grateful for the things I have, I’m setting myself up to never be satisfied with the things I’ll get in the future. I’ll continue to make excuses about not being able to build that or do this, because I’m not fit enough, or I don’t have the right equipment. I may even worry about really mind-bending things like, “does my wife love me enough?” Or, “does my daughter want to spend time with me?”
Decide to be happy, to be content, with what you have now. Only then can you utilize it to realize your vision.
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