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Self-worth, simply put, is knowing fundamentally what you want, and not bending to others’ opinions, schedules, or emotional pleas. It’s the most attractive attribute you could ever find in a partner, and the primary reason I knew Deborah was THE ONE.

I fell for Deborah right on the very first beach we ever walked together. There was something about the Mexican air, the blue hue of the water, the depth of our conversations. I was hooked.

But it seemed Deborah wasn’t.

While I was busy thinking about her all day, she was off living a full life. One day, she loved going to lunch with me. The next, she’d “have other plans.” We would spend a day together, full of beaches, romantic walks, and deep conversations, but when we went out that night, she’d dance with other people. My jealousy could be seen from across the room, even felt in the vibrations of the air.

But that wasn’t her fault.

If Deborah had bent to my jealousy, or my fear, or my confusion, she would not have had the experience she wanted. Even worse, if she had succumb to my insecurity, I wouldn’t have respected her so much. I wouldn’t have worked so hard or sacrificed so much for her. If she had bent her boundaries, or dropped her objective, she wouldn’t have seemed so “special,” and our fling probably would have ended when I left for home. I would never had known her value, because she would never have shown it to me.

And that’s just it: a man can’t possibly know a woman’s value unless her actions tell him what it is. As a woman, all you have to be is confident that the man you want to attract is the man who sees and acts upon your self-worth, as he respects your boundaries, desires, and the life you want to lead. The wrong men will scoff at the price, but the right man will be inspired to step up to the plate.

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