I once read an article that suggested this male pregnancy claim is just men trying to take the one thing women really have and turning it into another male dominated phenomenon. If that’s true, call me He-Man, because I’m pregnant.

The symptoms are real, it’s science. There’s even a name for it: Couvade Syndrome. As far as I know, “couvade” is French and translates roughly to “let’s make this all about me.”

Here are the symptoms I have been experiencing (emphasis on I):

Nausea

I’ve been really nauseous…at some point on most days. Moving to a new country where they ride on the the bus all. the. time. certainly doesn’t help.

If you’re experiencing this sympathetic pregnancy symptom, like me, there’s really only one cure: man-up. Your wife has it x2, plus she’s literally creating your child 24/7. When you feel a bout of nausea, it’s time to run to the store for some gaseous water or Sprite, for your woman. When you’re not feeling so hot, fire up the stove and bring her some soup. She may also appreciate a foot rub after you’re done cleaning the house.

Weight Gain

When you’re sharing chips with your pregnant wife, just remember that she deserves them and you don’t. Have you put on a few kilos over the course of your joint pregnancy? Ask her what she wants from the store, and head to the gym on your way home.

I’d like to say that I haven’t been experiencing this symptom, but minus the actual baby, I’ve probably put on more weight than Deborah. I attribute this to my feeling sorry for myself, and rampant lack of self control. My stomach now pokes into my belt when I’m on the computer.

Diarrhea

Do I need to go into this one?

Aches and Pains

I don’t know if it’s the hormones, having finally turned 24 (I know, I’m getting old), or my new dad bod, but I’m getting aches in places I didn’t know could ache..like my knees. Luckily, my pregnant wife massages me almost every day.

Have you experienced other Couvade Syndrome symptoms? Comment below and tell us what you did for your woman while you sucked it up!